Musical "howlers".....

Encouraged by an enthusiastic reader, here are some schoolboy howlers in the field of music. / When not working in the church, Bach composed pieces on a spinster (spinnet) in his home. / Refrain means don't do it. A refrain in music is the part you better not try to sing. / Handel was half German, half Italian and half English. He was very large. / Anyone who can read all the instrument notes at the same time gets to be the conductor. / Stradivarious was an imaginary prehistoric animal...This one is for my Scandinavian readers = The principal exports of Sweden are hired girls - meaning of the au pair variety - oooops, my apologies to all you lovely Swedes.... I remember a colleague at Glyndebourne, whose little son had been cast in the Nativity play at his primary school. He proudly announced to his parents that he would be playing the part of "a Roman shoulder in the school activity play" - how sweet. My Mother told of the time my brother, when aged about six, came home from Sunday school and said the text for the day was "Sweet peas and suet "! That somehow didn't ring true, biblically, so and when Mother saw the Sunday school teacher some days later, questioned her about it. She was amused when the teacher explained that the text was "Speak peace, and pursue it"......maybe we should all take note of that one, and forget the sweet peas...? Yesterday I was breathing with a lady who was "put off" singing as a career in her twenties, by the lacklustre and un-inspired teaching she received at one of our most prestigious music colleges. Now, in her mature years, we are starting a programme to rekindle her love of singing - I'll keep you posted as to our progress. I find it sad that I meet so many people who were told at junior school to stand at the back and keep quiet. Teachers have no idea of the harm they do to the psyche of such children. The most encouraging part of my "mission" (as one of my breathers calls it)is that we can usually rectify the situation - one man was sixty five when he tried breathing support and we discovered he has a really beautiful voice - so it's never to late to begin.....k..p b.......g...